So this guy, he's like my dad's age, he's checking me out, and he thinks I don't notice. I mean, he's pretending to read his book, but he's looking, seriously looking, just hoping that that top button is going to pop. So I let him get an eyeful, trying the whole time not to crack up, and I sit up a little straighter, then I put my hands together over my head, and I arch my back, you know, like I'm just stretching? And I swear he's going to lose it.

But just then my mom comes back, and she says, “Why look, it's our new minister!” And she goes over and shakes his hand, and now I see the book he's reading, it says “Teaching Teens About Abstinence”. Then she brings him over to meet me and he looks down at the ground and mumbles "Hello", before she says we have to go, and when we're far enough away, she says, "You and I are so going to have a talk.”. “What?” I say, “I wasn't doing anything.”

“Unh-huh,” she says. “Get in the car.”